Going Down

“For some reason this building has an elevator, but you don’t ever want to use it. Not that you need to given that it’s just one floor to your apartment but believe me you want to take the stairs.”

Handy advice my new neighbor from across the hall who’d heard me moving in and come over to introduce himself.

“I’m not kidding, if you’ve got something heavy to carry in you might think the elevator is a good idea but it’s not. It’ll take you a solid 10 minutes to get up if you’re lucky. Anytime I’ve been in that thing I thought I was trapped forever and would never see daylight again. Even when it’s acting perfectly, which isn’t often, you could get in, press the button for your floor, start kissing your girlfriend, move on to full on sex right then and there with no shortcuts, finish up, smoke a cigarette and still have time to get cleaned up before the door opened again. And that’s just one floor. Trust me, stick to the stairs.”